I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
