I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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