the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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