yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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