Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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