thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
