Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
