There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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