its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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