is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
