No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
