Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
