Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
