Barsexuality is the new black.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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