why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
