haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
