you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
