Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
