Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
