i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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