I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
