He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
