I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
