I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
