Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
