Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Terrible idea I love it
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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