Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
