I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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