Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
