He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
that may or may not have been my penis.
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