when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
