So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
