I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this boner is exhausting
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
