OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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