Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
