I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
