Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
