So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
