Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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