Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
