is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I will pee on everything he values.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
