i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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