Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
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