he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
