just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
