We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
