do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
