New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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