That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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