You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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