you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
